A low day

One thing I have learned since becoming a mother is that it isn't fun to be sick. And it seems to be that when you're up all hours of the night, meeting the demands of 'little screaming one', on top of managing dinners, laundry, cleaning etc, and getting very little down time to see friends and take time out, one tends to be a little more susceptible to those random bugs that would usually pass you by. I used to say it took a superbug to knock me out. What doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger, right? Well, call it motherhood, because I am flattened!

I don't like to complain. I have a wonderful healthy daughter. I have a loving partner, great friends and family and a good job; I am very lucky. But I will be honest - I have found becoming a mother to be quite difficult. I love my daughter and am very proud of her, but I sometimes feel I'm letting her down. I would love to have more energy to play with her all day and to have more patience for her when she's not feeling well, or won't eat or sleep. She is, afterall, a brand new person who knows nothing about the world and is looking to me for everything. I do everything I can for her, but its in those moments when you're at your limits that the real challenge of motherhood presents itself. Its a big responsibility and I think feelings of guilt and inadequacy come with the territory.

I hope I'm not alone when I feel like this and it doesn't make me a failure. My child is happy and oblivious, so thats all that matters, right? I'm having a low day, but I'm allowed that. I will make it better tomorrow.